Hello everybody;
This time, I chose a video about one of the social networks ‘Facebook’. Most probably, almost all of you watched this video before, because you are already one of the members of the Facebook. This video is about ‘What will happen if Facebook is deleted?
According to the explanations of Mark Zuckerberg - the founder of the Facebook – the number of the of the members of Facebook exceeds 500 billion now. It shows us that Facebook is used in all over the world. Well... Is it a useful website or not? The answer of this question differs from person to person, but, I want to discuss the answer in line with this video.
Facebook is a social network which has so many facilities like communicating with your friends and relatives, sharing some photos and videos, commenting, etc. All these are good and enjoyable things. However, if Facebook is used excessively or wrongly, it might not be useful. Even if it is a social network, being on the computer for hours prevents socialization of people. As we see in video, people become to be addicted to Facebook, day by day and cannot imagine a life without it. Also, many things about real life such as birthdays, social events and even friendships are becoming ordinary because of the Facebook.
Consequently, people should be aware of that Facebook is only a website and it is not more important than the real life. It’s a good activity to spend your some leisure time, but it shouldn’t be your priority.
Dear Kül,
YanıtlaSilI hope you enjoyed a lot while you were writing this video journal, as Facebook is one of the most interesting social networks all around the world. I know that you are a person open to criticism especially on such cases, writing and preparing a text, I mean. Now, let me show you a number of mistakes that you made without noticing while you were writing. Everybody knows that you have a very advanced grammar knowledge, but you know everyone can make mistakes on this earth. Anyway, there it goes:
1- the number "of the of the" members ( you do not need to repeat this twice, I think, we can understand when you write it once :P )
2- Facebook is used "in" all over the world. (What do you mean by "in" there? Why did you use both "in" and "over" at the same time? Only "over" is enough, I suppose.)
3- people become "to be" addicted to Facebook "," day by day (becoming addicted is enough there as far as I know and you do not need to use a comma between "Facebook" and "day by day" phrase.
4- because of "the" Facebook. (At the first times of Facebook's launch, it was going out with the article of "the", but now it is omitted, you do not need to use "the" for Facebook.)
As for the trailer's itself, I must say that I watched the first one of this movie, Social Network and I think it is actually worth watching. On the other hand, very long trailers do not appeal to me at all. I always like the shorter ones with little clues that we can associate after watching the movie. Your short sentences with explanatory words are good enough to be easily-understood.
Great writing style, Kül! I really liked it! Excellent, keep this good work up all the time!
Bon souvenir!
Kurnaz
Dear Kurnaz
YanıtlaSilFirstly I want to thank you for your comments. Thanks to you I saw my mistakes. As you know I repeated 'of the of the' accidentally :) I know everybody especially you can understand it once :)
Anyway.. Thanks again:)
It has always been a pleasure for me to help people see their mistakes in grammar lessons :P May God speed you, go and come back healthily! :)
YanıtlaSilKurnaz